Networking Isn’t About Contacts. It’s About Character.

At a recent startup event at Japan Innovation Campus, I ran into a friend I’ve known for over three years. In #SiliconValley, people often call her a “super connector.” But what really stands out isn’t her network—it’s her way.
She skipped small talk and went straight to the point:
“What are you working on? How can I help?” That’s very Niki G. .
I told her two things.
First, I’m fully focused on #executive coaching and #startup mentoring.
Second, we should take a photo—our outfits looked like tomato and scrambled eggs.
We laughed. Took the photo.
What followed mattered more: an invitation to a series of thoughtful, well-curated gatherings she hosts, where real conversations happen.

That moment reminded me why networking works in Silicon Valley—and why it fails for so many people. So I decided to start sharing, more intentionally, what I’ve learned over the past four years about building real, high-trust networks.

1. Prepare a clear 60-second introduction.
Not your résumé.Just enough for people to remember who you are—and why they might want to continue the conversation.

2. Listen harder than you speak.
Most people care deeply about whether they were heard.Those who truly listen are surprisingly rare—and instantly memorable.

3. Lead with generosity.
Know what you can offer: insight, perspective, connections, help.Give it freely. Silicon Valley runs on a giving culture. Be generous, not cautious.

4. Show up with energy, not polish.
Your presence, clarity, and how you treat people are your real business card.

5. Respect time—especially when you’re not a priority.
That’s part of the process. Don’t get discouraged. Stay patient. Keep showing goodwill without keeping score.

6. Exchange contact details. Always.
No follow-up, no relationship. Have your website or social profile ready.Your content should illuminate, not show off.

7. Share substance, not proof you were there.
Insights over selfies.Value over name-dropping. Even sharing is a form of giving.

8. Be selective about the rooms you enter.
High-quality environments raise your standards automatically.Try to be surrounded with the people who can build you up.

I am grateful for the conversations and energy from Dan Altschuler, John Whaley, Hong Nguyen-Phuong, Alan Eng, Fengmin Gong, Naomi Ikeda

Rooms like this work because people show up generous and real.